This Sixers Groupon is the Saddest Thing You’ll See Today

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As we’ve detailed, the Sixers are coming dangerously close to paying you to come to games (their two tickets to three games plus a $50 gift certificate to a local jewelry store for $60 deal is outstanding, though). But this Groupon – one awful ticket to an awful game against an awful team, watching warmups from the sideline (note: you’ll be joined by over 1,000 people… so, good luck), and a t-shirt for $15 – is kind of offensive, and might come with one of Groupon's saddest descriptions ever.

The deties:

One ticket to the game against the New Orleans Hornets on Tuesday, January 15, at 7 p.m.

Early entrance to watch the pregame warm-ups from the sideline

A 76ers T-shirt, available only in size L/XL 

 

By itself, it’s not that great of a deal. Those same tickets are going for $6 (including fees!) on the secondary market. So, with the Groupon, you're basically you’re paying $9 for a t-shirt and to stand somewhere in the general of the vicinity of the court before the game. And if you're thinking of getting this for your kids… that shirt ain't gon' fit dem.

But what really gets me is the sad description, which was perhaps written by the marketing masterminds at Groupon. I bolded my favorite parts:

The 76ers race toward the midseason mark in search of a third straight playoff berth

Having made the playoffs in each of the past two seasons, the 76ers once again find themselves on the cusp of the postseason, hovering near the middle of the Eastern Conference standings through 29 games. In the teams’ previous matchup this season, the Sixers swatted away the Hornets 77–62, landing field goals from midrange 17% more effectively than their season average.

 

Jesus Samuel Christ. Thirds most wins in NBA history and 15th most made three-pointers in NBA history suddenly sound like they belong in a category with Think Different. Whoever wrote that description should be fired.

Anyway… get them while they're hot, I suppose.

H/T to (@xcgordo) and superstar CB reader (@SwaggerNuggets)

7 Comments

  1. Oh jeez. Is groupon one of your advertisers now? Why?

  2. Because I run a website for a living and I can’t think of one other medium that allows readers or consumers to publicly criticize their advertisers, and I’m certainly not going to be the first. If you want me to come to your place of work and rip you in front of your boss, let me know. I run a fucking business and don’t try to pretend those aren’t ads. If you don’t like something? Don’t buy it. But stop whining about.

  3. Christina Lurie's Left Tit

    January 2, 2013 at 2:30 pm

    Well said, Kyle. My twin and I perked up when we read your response to Ricky.

  4. Candy from the Oak

    January 2, 2013 at 2:42 pm

    at that price all of Delco can go

  5. is the great sports debate on tonite?

  6. not me. and no, they’re not an advertiser.

  7. Kyle Scotts Mom hates this site too

    January 2, 2013 at 7:55 pm

    fuck you kyle scott. your hatred for the sixers is fucking stupid. grow the fuck up. your blog sucks. copy and paste from 700level is not a real job. Come on man, you dont even fucking copy and paste on weekends. This site is a fucking disgrace, get it together.

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