As we’ve detailed, the Sixers are coming dangerously close to paying you to come to games (their two tickets to three games plus a $50 gift certificate to a local jewelry store for $60 deal is outstanding, though). But this Groupon – one awful ticket to an awful game against an awful team, watching warmups from the sideline (note: you’ll be joined by over 1,000 people… so, good luck), and a t-shirt for $15 – is kind of offensive, and might come with one of Groupon's saddest descriptions ever.
One ticket to the game against the New Orleans Hornets on Tuesday, January 15, at 7 p.m.
Early entrance to watch the pregame warm-ups from the sideline
A 76ers T-shirt, available only in size L/XL
By itself, it’s not that great of a deal. Those same tickets are going for $6 (including fees!) on the secondary market. So, with the Groupon, you're basically you’re paying $9 for a t-shirt and to stand somewhere in the general of the vicinity of the court before the game. And if you're thinking of getting this for your kids… that shirt ain't gon' fit dem.
But what really gets me is the sad description, which was perhaps written by the marketing masterminds at Groupon. I bolded my favorite parts:
The 76ers race toward the midseason mark in search of a third straight playoff berth
Having made the playoffs in each of the past two seasons, the 76ers once again find themselves on the cusp of the postseason, hovering near the middle of the Eastern Conference standings through 29 games. In the teams’ previous matchup this season, the Sixers swatted away the Hornets 77–62, landing field goals from midrange 17% more effectively than their season average.
Jesus Samuel Christ. Thirds most wins in NBA history and 15th most made three-pointers in NBA history suddenly sound like they belong in a category with Think Different. Whoever wrote that description should be fired.
Anyway… get them while they're hot, I suppose.