Who's That Douche?
When your situation down south makes him breathe through his mouth
Who did this: [CBS Philly]
Police in Chester County say a 21-year-old female has been charged for falsely reporting that she was raped by three people.
According to police, [redacted] reported to West Goshen Township police that she was raped and sexually assaulted by three people on March 25 while at the Golf Club Apartments, located in the 1100 block of West Chester Pike.
Investigators report [redacted] lied about the incident because she was afraid her fiancé would find out she was having sexual relations outside of their relationship.
Further investigation also found that the group sex was consensual and the entire incident was recorded.
The answer is after the jump.
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Jessica Shreve.
Wow. There are so many ways I can go with this, but I’m already tempting fate with the death pool, so I’m just going to play it straight.
First off, didn’t this sort of happen in Old School? Second, this chick is doing it all wrong. If you’re going to cheat on your fiancé and then claim you were raped, you should do it with one partner, who you can finger for the deed… and then blame for the rape. I have his DNA on fupa! And these scratches on my back. And, for some reason, really unsexy hair… though I’m not sure that’s relevant to the case. It’s your word vs. their’s, and the fupa spunk is a jury-persuader. What you don’t want to do – and I’m fairly certain of this – is have an orgy and record it. That’s three other people who know the truth, plus one (or several??) iPhones. And maybe those folks were cool beforehand – when they gave you the pity invite for the gang bang – but now that you accused them of, you know, raping you, they might be a little less accommodating.