Category: Writer/Editor: Kyle Scott (page 1 of 998)

Jayson Goes to Jail

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Werth’s car, 2010

 

We told you last month about Jayson Werth getting sentenced to 10 days in jail after being convicted of reckless driving when he was going 105 in a 55. Well, he is indeed serving time. Five days.

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And thus he becomes the first member of the WFC to do jail time. If you were setting odds for this sort of thing… you probably would’ve had Jayson Werth at the top of the list.

Maybe while he’s in the slammer he can plot how he’s going to prevent us from ever walking down Broad in celebration again.

I’m sorry– my thoughts are all over the place here. I can’t even wrap my head around the this and the potential for right field signs. It might be the highlight of the 2015 season.

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Somebody Call 911, Shorty Fire Burning… at the Firehouse

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The great Sean Kingston had no idea what he was on to.

From Dana DiFilippo and David Gambacorta of the Daily News:

A fiery sex scandal threatens to burn up multiple firefighters’ careers, including some top brass, according to former Fire Commissioner Lloyd Ayers.

Ayers told the Daily News today that the investigation into a young paramedic’s claims of sexual misconduct began shortly before he retired in June.

The paramedic filed a complaint with the Equal Employment Opportunity Commission, alleging misconduct against another paramedic. Soon after, rumors surfaced that she had sexual encounters with numerous firefighters, paramedics and supervisors in firehouses while on- and off-duty all around the city.

CBS 3’s Walt Hunter:

Among the allegations under investigation, a female member found engaging in sexual activity with two male members inside a vehicle and, sources confirm, sexual activity among the female member and male members at several firehouses around the city.

That’s hot.

This story is sizzling right now and on the verge of blowing up, and I can’t figure out why. So you’re telling me that firefighters, who are asked to sit around for hours on end waiting for the call, can’t get in a little hose work in the interim? That’s poppycock. What’s the difference between mopping floors or playing cards and taking care of a damsel in distress in the cab of the ol’ hook-and-ladder? Quite frankly, I’d be concerned if my firefighters weren’t staying loose while on the job. Do you want a guy who was pried away from his hot tea and a good book or a burly stud with blood pumping whose Id is in overdrive running into your towering inferno? Um, I’ll take the neanderthal, thanks. Firrree baaaad. Waaater goooood. Save lady. Whatever you gotta do to stay up, ladderman. What(whom)ever you gotta do.

Side note: Please tell me Danny Watkins was involved.

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Now Vai Sikahema Is Presenting Marcus Mariota with That Dumb Sal Pal-inspired T-shirt Oh What the Hell

Vai Sikahema was on 97.5 with John and Sean today and he talked about his recent trip to Hawaii, which is where he introduced Marcus Mariota at the somehow an actual thing Polynesian Football Hall of Fame – which I can only assume is currently working on constructing the birth story of their lord and savior, Junior Seau – and then presented the Oregon quarterback with that dumb Sal Pal-inspired #DoTheDeal t-shirt.

The fact that that blowhard Sal Pal gets publicity for his inane speculation makes me want to punch small babies in their temple area. Just look at this shit.

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RADIO WARS: It Looks like Tony Bruno and Josh Innes Will Be Your New WIP Afternoon Show

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From the department of worst-kept local media secrets: Multiple sources say that WIP will announce the hiring of Tony Bruno sometime on Friday. Fans of his might consider this justice a gift on my daughter’s wedding Wing Bowl day. As expected, Bruno will be teamed with Josh Innes from 1-6 in the afternoons.

A source told me that Tony verbally agreed to WIP’s (CBS’) offer and an announcement will be made at some point during or after the Wing Bowl. My money is on during.

It’s unclear how they’ll make the announcement, because Tony is in Arizona for the Super Bowl right now, looking a lot like Walter White. I asked him about joining WIP and if he planned on being at Wing Bowl, but despite our working relationship, he politely declined to comment. He mostly wanted to talk about interviewing Ines Sainz, and quite frankly, I don’t blame him:

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Tony says he plans on continuing to do his podcast (which, as you may have read, can be heard at LibertyBroadcast.co).

In other not-yet-news: I’m told Anthony Gargano joining 97.5, perhaps as part of a local morning show, is still very much a possibility. Gargano, who is believed to have a standard 90-day non-compete clause, likely wouldn’t show up on the air until April at the earliest.

So what it looks like we have here is a couple of paisans switching familial ties. You know, two local radio stations going to the mattresses. HIT ME WITH THAT ISH:

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Marcus Hayes Offers PIPING HOT TAKE and Feigns Outrage over Antics at Media Day, Gets an Entire Column out of It

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Does my head make me look fat?

The Daily News sent fun-hating, race-baiting gasbag Marcus Hayes to Phoenix to cover Media Day and, presumably, the Super Bowl. And Hayes, who not surprisingly had nothing better to write about today, wrote an entire column about how awful the antics at media day are… thus justifying the existence of said antics.

Let’s delve into Mr. Hayes’ nonsense:

Marshawn Lynch literally grabbed his crotch to express contempt for the assembled throng of 200 media members as he made his way to his podium at the start of Media Day.

For the next 5 minutes or so, Lynch figuratively grabbed his crotch to express contempt for the NFL and its commissioner, Roger Goodell.

I get it– Lynch’s press conference was like the verbal equivalent of his actions. That’s deep, yo.

Lynch, who timed himself on his smartphone, saw the 5-minute mark pass, arose and said, “Time.”

He left the Skittles bag on the stage and bolted.

With more than 57 minutes left in Media Day, Beast Mode entered Airplane Mode and ended all transmissions.

Was that… an iPhone joke?*

*Topical today, by the way, as Apple announced yesterday that they sold 77 million iPhones last quarter and had the most profitable quarter – over $18 BILLION with a B in profit – IN THE HISTORY OF BUSINESS! Today is a good day to own Apple stock. PARTY OVER HERE, BABBBBBBY!!! WOOT, WOOT!! I should’ve held up a crumpled sticky note in my hand and yelled at my computer screen in euphoric fashion as the markets opened, just to get the full visceral and aural experience of riding a HOT ONE to a (as I write this) more than seven-point gain! But please, tell me more about how much better your giant Samsung Galaxy is.

Back to Marcus:

Media Day at the Super Bowl, an hourlong availability of essentially everyone of merit in both organizations held every Tuesday of Super Bowl week, seldom elicits any real information about players or their teams; but then, most interviews with NFL types elicit little information. Top players and the head coach are available 3 or 4 days during Super Bowl week, but the intent of Media Day is to afford access to all players, coaches and executives to all members of the press on one day, in one place.

The NFL has credentialed entertainment reporters and fostered a circus atmosphere, a circus the NFL now charges fans $28.50 to witness.

Seriously.

Meme: Reporter sent across the country to cover admittedly meaningless day of press conferences complains that meaningless day of press conferences is meaningless. How do I make that into an image? Perhaps a GIF?

The availability has devolved to include guys who wear barrels over their bare torsos; Olympic skaters Johnny Weir and Tara Lipinski asking fashion questions for NBC; and beautiful women in short skirts who salsa dance with Kam Chancellor.

OK, we can keep that last one.

No surprise. We’ve known for a while now that Hayes is an ass man. But I thought for a second that he was going to make a borderline homophobic remark about (the outstanding) Johnny Weir and his bae Tara Lipinski. Phew.

Spritely divas Lipinski and Weir, former Olympic skaters working the fashion angle for NBC, showed up in fabulous outfits. He had on a scarlet jacket over a silk shirt with a gemstone necklace, crammed his feet into 4-inch wedge booties and wore more makeup than she did.

There it is. Continue reading

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Wayne Simmonds Did a Dirty to the ‘Yotes

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This is gross. Disgusting, actually. And hey, THE FLYERS WON A SHOOTOUT! Video after the jump.

[Related: Mike Richards cleared waivers]
Continue reading

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The Penguins Placed “Sindey Crosby” on Their Official Progam

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And, well, that’s perfect.

H/T to all-star reader (@Banditmax), and (@DylanR_CC)

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Howard Eskin Complains about Attractive Women at Media Day

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While I’m certain that some of the 5,000 media folks in attendance were not women a stiff breeze away from a mound visit, what warm-blooded male complains about that sort of thing?

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God bless America. Or Mexico. Whatever. Howard’s a curmudgeon.

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